Perusing the covers of most mainstream magazines while checking out at the grocery store is usually enough to ignite a spark of anxiety as you measure your relationship against the standards splashed in your face:
HOOK YOUR PARTNER WITH THESE HOT POSITIONS!
BORED IN BED? SPICE IT UP BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!
NOT HAVING SEX 3 TIMES A WEEK? HERE’S HOW TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!
Like love, romance, and marriage, our culture is fraught with misconceptions about what is realistic, healthy, and sustainable in a long-term sexual relationship. We feed the line that we “should” feel madly in love with our partners every day for eternity and we “shouldn’t” experience normal states like doubt or anxiety if we’re with the “right” partner. So it goes with romance: we present the belief that if you’re not having exciting sex three times a week there’s something wrong with your relationship.
So here are some truths about sex—truths that you usually don’t read about in magazines or see depicted in the media. They’re derived from years of listening to my clients and course members sharing their most intimate fears, anxieties, and insecurities about what happens or doesn’t happen in the bedroom.